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Writer's pictureshaqueldwilson

Stop Giving Your Power Away: How to Protect Your Peace, Combat Negativity, and Love What You Do

    Shaque'l smiling while speaking on stage at 6 Figure Weekend 2024.
Shaque'l smiling while speaking on stage at 6 Figure Weekend 2024.

This low-key is gonna sound like a flex but here’s the truth: I smile like this in photos because I love what I do. Now trust and believe, I wasn’t always in this place. There was a time when work felt like a grind. When stress, negativity, and difficult people made me question why I was even putting in all the effort. But I've learned something incredibly important over time: Loving what you do requires that you stop giving your power away to situations and people who drain you.

And since it’s Friday—and I know you're probably sitting at your desk trying to find the will not to clock out early (or, if we're being totally honest, considering putting in your resignation)—I want to remind you of something important that I’ve learned: You don’t have to let negativity steal your peace. You have the power to protect your time, energy, and emotional space, and it all starts with choosing not to give your power away.

The Struggle Is Real


And I know firsthand that work can be one hell of a juggling act. I promise you, I know how it feels. You're expected to keep everything in the air. There’s always a mounting pile of emails. The endless meetings, zoom calls, and the constant push to meet deadlines is exhausting. And then (just when you think you have a handle on things) there’s always that one person who seems to just suck the life out of you. Or maybe it’s a situation with a client or stakeholder that doesn’t seem to be getting better, no matter how hard you try. It’s easy to get caught up in the stress of it all and find yourself overwhelmed by the weight of expectations. And let’s not even talk about how hard it can be to find the will to keep pushing forward. But I want you to understand that you don’t have to let all of that weigh you down.

When you’re caught in a vicious cycle of negativity at work, it’s easy to let it spill over into your personal time. Maybe you find yourself crying in your car after a tough shift. Or you’re thinking about work during the weekend, stressing over things that you can't change until Monday. And honestly? That’s draining, and it’s proof that you’re giving your power to people and situations that don’t deserve it. So let's change that.

Reclaim Your Power. Protect Your Peace.

You deserve peace, love. You deserve to feel good about the work you’re doing. You deserve to walk into the office (or log on to your computer) feeling confident, energized, and clear-headed. But to do that, you have to stop giving your energy to things that no longer serve you. This isn’t just about work—it’s about protecting your emotional space in every area of your life. Because your time, energy, and mental health are precious.  When you let toxic people or draining situations take up space in your mind and heart, you’re not just wasting your time, you’re actively choosing to allow negativity to impact your well-being.

And I get it. It’s hard not to care. Especially when you’re a dedicated, hardworking person who wants to do the best you can. But when you spend too much energy worrying about people who don’t value you, or situations you can’t control, it’s like giving away pieces of yourself that you can’t get back. And when that happens, you don’t have the emotional bandwidth left to focus on what really matters.

So here’s the truth, love. It's time to release the weight of worrying about people who didn’t ask for your energy or attention in the first place. Whether it’s that one difficult colleague (yes, the one you’d hit with your car if you knew you could get away with it 😅), the never-ending email thread that seems to go nowhere, or a project that isn’t going your way, those people and situations don’t get to control you or your peace.

How to Combat Negativity and Protect Your Energy

Now that we’ve covered why it’s essential to protect your peace, let’s talk about how you can start doing that today. Y'all know I'm an actionable tips and strategies girly so you should probably take some notes on what I'm about to say about how to combat negativity at work and stop giving your power away to people who don’t deserve it.

Set boundaries ... and then stick to them!


It’s important to remember that boundaries are not just something to talk about—they are something to enforce. Setting boundaries means knowing what you will and will not tolerate. Whether it’s around your time, emotional energy, or how much you let someone’s negativity affect you, boundaries are essential to protecting your peace. So you're gonna want to do the following:

  • Communicate Clearly. That means you can't be afraid to assert yourself in a calm, confident way. If someone is demanding too much of your time or energy, politely (but firmly) let them know that you need to focus on other priorities.

  • Block Off Personal Time. Even if you’re working from home, make sure you have set aside time for yourself to do the things you love and recharge. No emails, no meetings, no noise.

  • Learn to Say No. No matter what people tell you, no is not a dirty word and you should absolutely be saying it when you're stretched too thin. Saying no doesn’t make you a bad person. It makes you someone who values their own time and energy.


Reframe your thoughts ...


The way you think about a situation can drastically change how you feel about it. If you’re stuck in a cycle of negativity, start reframing your thoughts. Instead of focusing on everything that’s wrong, shift your mindset to think about what you can control, and focus on the positives.

  • Use Positive Affirmations. Repeat empowering affirmations to yourself every day. It may seem corny but it does work. Hit yourself with an "I am capable,” “I protect my peace,” or “I choose joy today” anytime you start to get frustrated. These simple words can have a big impact on how you approach life's challenges because our brains are literally wired to believe what we tell them.

  • Focus on Solutions, Not Problems. Because when you’re faced with a tough situation, try to move beyond the problem and think about possible solutions. This can help you feel more empowered and less helpless. Stop looking for other people to give you solutions or you'll always find yourself frustrated and aggravated.


Address difficult interactions like the baddie you are ...


Difficult interactions are inevitable. Whether it’s dealing with a toxic colleague, a demanding boss, or a frustrating client, handling these situations with grace and confidence is key. Here are some phrases you can use to help you navigate tough conversations since being conflict avoidant will literally never help you in the long run.


  • Is someone overstepping your boundaries? “I understand you’re looking for help, but I’m unable to assist at this time. Let me know if you’d like to schedule a time to discuss this further.”

  • Are you dealing with negativity and/or constant complaints?

    “I hear your concerns, but I’m going to focus on solutions moving forward. Let’s work together to find the best way to resolve this.”

  • Is someone being rude or condescending?

    “I’d appreciate it if we could communicate respectfully. Let’s keep this professional.”


Having these kinds of phrases in your back pocket will leave you better equipped to handle difficult conversations without letting your emotions take over. Because remember, you don’t have to tolerate disrespect or negativity to be polite or professional. Setting clear boundaries and speaking up for yourself is key to protecting your peace.


Practice self-care on the regular ...


I majored in psychology in college so Maslow's heirarchy of needs is as good as gospel in my house and business. Because if your base needs aren't being met, everything is gonna seem like the absolute worst, love. Taking care of your body and mind is essential to staying energized and mentally clearheaded. And the proof is in the pudding. When you’re well-rested, hydrated, and feeling good about yourself, you’re less likely to be affected by the negativity around you. So I need you to start prioritizing the following:


  • Sleep ... if you need 8 hours a night to function properly then you need to make sure you rest. Your body and mind need it to function at their best. That means your sleep hygiene needs to be on point. Put your phone on automatic sleep mode an hour before bed. Stop watching t.v. until the t.v. is watching you. Light a damn candle or play some rainforest noises if you need to. You've got this.


  • Exercise can help clear your mind and reduce stress. Even a quick walk or stretching session can do wonders for your body and lower your cortisol (stress hormone) levels. Your body is a complicated machine and it requires a little bit of maintenance to properly function.


  • Meditation and Mindfulness can literally change your life in just 5-10 minutes a day. It doesn't have to be complicated. Jot down the five things that went really well at the end of each day in your journal. Practice finding the silver lining in every situation your find yourself in. Be purposeful about resetting and focusing your energy on the things that you know will make you feel good. Because your narrative is just that, yours.


  • Eat Well and Hydrate because inhaling processed food that makes you feel like crap isn't doing anything for you. Fuel your body with nutritious food that will give you sustained energy throughout the day. Put down the soda and drink some damn water. These food and beverage companies don't give a crap about you. We gotta stop letting them poison us.


Detach emotionally from all the work drama ...


It’s easy to get sucked into office drama or to feel emotionally attached to your work outcomes. But detaching emotionally is an important part of preserving your peace. Work is just one part of your life, and it doesn’t define who you are or your worth.

  • Avoid Office Gossip and stay out of the drama. Avoid getting caught up in negative conversations with colleagues. And stop telling them all your damn business.


  • Don’t Take Things Personally, especially if someone is being rude or criticizing your work. Remember that their words are a reflection of them, not you.


  • Leave Work at Work when the day ends. Always take a moment to “decompress” before you dive into personal time. Because do you really want to think about work the entire time you're trying to chill and enjoy your day(s) off?


Let go of what you can’t control ...


One of the biggest sources of stress is trying to control everything around us. I know this firsthand because I've been working on this with my therapist all of 2024. But the truth is, you can’t control other people’s actions or the outcome of every situation. However, you can control how you respond. Letting go of the need to control everything is liberating.


  • Let go of the need for perfection because nothing is ever perfect. Learn to embrace mistakes as opportunities to grow. And stop trying to make excuses when people call you out. Take ownership of that momentary lapse and then move on.


  • Release the need for approval because you absolutely don’t need everyone’s approval to know that you’re doing a great job. You either are or you aren't. They may be nice to receive but you don't need those kudos nearly as much as you think you do.

Let's Wrap This Up ...


Protecting your peace isn’t about avoiding hard work or running away from tough situations. It’s about creating a safe space for you to thrive, even when things get tough. And when you stop giving your energy away to negativity, you’ll find that you can enjoy your work more and feel fulfilled by what you do.

You have the right to love what you do. You deserve to feel happy, energized, and at peace in your career. So, take a deep breath and let go of the things and people that no longer serve you and focus instead on what truly matters: your peace, your happiness, and the people who support and appreciate you. And hey, when you’re able to protect your peace and stop giving your power away? I guarantee you’ll be smiling like I am in every photo at every available opportunity 🫶🏾

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